urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jennigurlieToo large for lifejennigurliejennigurlie2008-01-24T17:19:45Zurn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jennigurlie:866I Hate Change2008-01-24T17:19:45Z2008-01-24T17:19:45Z <font color="#3366ff" size="2">After years of suffering from eating disorders i had finally got myself to a healthy and easily maintainable weight - 120 lbs, not exactly the skinniest but easy to stick at. <br />Then <strong>change</strong> came along.<br />I moved in with my boyfriend, in a town i don't know and where i know no-one else apart from him. I have nothing to do and find myself doing nothing apart from binging and purging . AND I am gaining weight. I can't throw up quick enough as I have to hide it. In 2 months, I haven gained almost 13lbs. Thats a stone. It's horrendous.My BMI is over 20! <br />But.. from 27th is my fresh start. I will fast for 3 days have one meal on the 4th day and then continue the fast for a further 3 days, exercising vigorously and hopefully the results will show. I'm desperate to start now, but at the weeked I have lots of meals to go to and i know people will be checking to see i'm eating. To make it even worse, I will be surrounded by models who can help me pick out my many imperfections!<br />Thought I'd got over this kind of shit but obviously I haven't. It's healthier to starve than to carry on throwing up!</font>